Well, it’s been awhile folks. I know some of my buddies have been hastling me about getting back in the game, and the time is finally right. If I’m being honest I stopped the weekly postings not only because of holiday crazies and a new job, but also because I was getting my shit absolutely ROCKED by soccer. EPL, Champions’ League, Chile Primera Division, etc. You name it, I was getting fisted by it.
Now that college basketball season is finally upon us (Go Huskies….UConn, not those cocksuckers in Seattle), and the playoffs, we’re back to our winning ways, player props and parlays. It’s the Sunday of the first ever Super Wild Card Weekend, and I’ll be handing out a few succulent fruits I think will be ripe for the taking. I have 6 Player Props for the Wild Card games and 2 college basketball spreads. Hopefully these build your already impressive green column or at least get you even before the bookie comes a-calling Saturday (I’m looking at you, Snow Mickster).
I’d like to point out the title of this column doesn’t refer to being off of the sauce, because you know i’m cooking. Instead, it is titled due to my current state as of late Saturday night/too early Sunday morning. OFF DA SAUCE! Without further ado, here is my Off da’ Sauce Sunday column.
NFL Player Props
Ravens -3 @ Titans
- Gus Edwards OVER 6.5 receiving yards (-112)
6-and-a-half-fucking-yards?? I mean c’mon. Edwards hasn’t done much receiving work over the course of the season, but what he has done has come in the past four weeks. In chronological order starting week 14, (12/14 for those time-inclined individuals): 1/1 for 4, 2/2 for 36, 2/2 for 27, and 1/1 for 10. He’s clearly been getting inserted into the playbook, especially when you consider that even though he’s been splitting touches with J.K Dobbins, he has out-targeted him 6-to-0 in those weeks.
J.K. did catch more passes over the season (18-9), but they were focused in the first half of the season and it looks like the torch has been passed to Edwards. Either which, it’s going to be a hard-fought Wild Card matchup and I fully expect Harbaugh to at least open the cover of his book of tricks.
- Ryan Tannehill OVER 237.5 passing yards (-106)
I’ll keep it simple. I like Tannehill, I don’t think the Ravens are unbeatable through the air, and I honestly just don’t think 237.5 passing yards is anything in the present day NFL. Especially not enough to give credit to Tannehill and AJ Brown.
- Will there be a successful 2-pt conversion? – YES (+245)
I see this game being close enough for this to come into play at some point, and both offenses have great goal line power. Worth a fun sprinkle in my book.
Bears @ Saints -9.5
- Alvin Kamara OVER 63.5 rushing yards (-112), OVER 41.5 receiving yards (-125)
For some reason I thought daaaaaa Bears had a better rush defense, but after looking at their season numbers it just doesn’t seem like it. They have done okay against mediocre running backs, but have consistently allowed over 100 yards rushing and touchdowns sprinkled in (11 rush TDs allowed, 96.56 rush yards allowed per game).
A game that looked okay on paper for the Bears was the first time they played the Saints, allowing only 85 yards on 21 carries. That is, until, you notice that Kamara had 9 receptions for 96 yards and averaged 5.58 yards per carry.
The Bears have tightened up in their past two games, but their 76 yards allowed to the Jaguars and 71 to the Packers doesn’t seem too impressive when you realize that James Robinson was out and Aaron Jones only rushed 11 times (for 42 yards and a touchdown).
I humbly put my hard earned coin into the Sunday collection basket and pray to the G.O.D of N.O.L.A. Dear Alvin, please take stance, to then run all over those Midwest frauds, and deliver not the soul-crushing thud of a tackle-for-a-loss, but instead the toe-tapping sounds of jazz as you dance all over their out-of-position linebackers.
Despite that beautifully written hymn, I like da Bears +9.5. Nothing would be funnier than the Saints losing Drew Brees’ last game on Nickelodeon to the FUCKING BEARS.
Browns +6 @ Steelers
- Nick Chubb OVER 65.5 rushing yards (-134)
The Steelers offense may be a hidden joke, but their defense is seriously nothing to laugh at. I apologize for the bad puns, I had to get it out.
Baker is going to be running for his life if the Browns don’t set up a run game, which is luckily something that hasn’t escaped Kevin Stefanski this year. Unfortunately Stefanski will be out with a large number of Cleveland players due to another COVID outbreak, but I think this leans more into the team being conservative and sticking to the run, run, play-action routine it does best. In all honestly, 65.5 yards just isn’t giving Chubb the respect her deserves.
- Jarvis Landry OVER 5.5 receptions (+123)
Landry caught 3-of-5 passes for 40 yards when the Browns faced Pittsburgh earlier in the season, and 5-of-6 for 51 yards last week to help the Browns secure their first playoff spot since 2002. Mind you, those numbers are from a time when Beckham was still stealing pointless looks from Mayfield and in a game the Browns were leading the entire game against the Steelers’ backups. If the Browns are going to do anything in this massive, massive, MASSIVE wild card division matchup, they will need to find a way to get the ball to Jarvis Landry.
Chubb may be the straw that stirs the Browns drink, but Jarvis is the Nesquik, I’m more of a Hershey chocolate syrup man myself, but regardless you need a player like Landry to transform a plain 1% run of the mill team into a kick-ass, hard hitting powerhouse like chocolate milk.
College Basketball Picks
Providence +3.5 at Xavier
We start the day with a great Big East matchup. This is a game where you can see it going either way due to good and bad games from both teams. As far as I’m concerned though, you have to go with Providence. Not only are the Friars coming in fresh after a bitter home loss to No. 7 Creighton a week ago (65-67), but have won three of their five conference games and will be facing a Xavier team off a Wednesday home win.*
This is a tough one to call, and I’ll point out that Providence has played most of their big games close this season (Davidson 63-62, Seton Hall 80-77, Butler 64-70, DePaul 95-90, Creighton 65-67). However, Xavier has lost two of its best players this year already, and it seems like the time for Ed Cooley to rally his men and take down a big conference opponent on the road. Providence +3.5.
*I personally believe most teams play worse in second home games after a win at home. Maybe speculation but I attribute it to letting off the gas/feeling comfortable in the castle, so to speak.
No. 5 Iowa -9.5 vs. No. 16 Minnesota
Ouch. That loss to Maryland hurts for the Hawks. It’s not the most crushing considering how spectacular the Big 10 has been this year) making up for their amusingly pitiful football season, Ohio State included). Iowa’s only other losses this year have been to Gonzaga (99-88) and this Minnesota team on the road on Christmas (102-95, 2OT). That was another tough pill to swallow considering the primetime matchup and DOUBLE overtime loss suffered by Garza and Co.
I bet my bum that Iowa will come out with more intensity than the Golden Gophers are ready for, and unleash an ass-whooping so severe that both the twin cities are shaking. Iowa -9.5